


more matters of life and death (opposites and similarities)

by WattStalf



Series: one and one makes two (but three and four can come along too) [4]
Category: Baccano!
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Sedoretu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-07 23:34:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19859866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WattStalf/pseuds/WattStalf
Summary: It’s funny, isn’t it? That Ladd asked me to look after you, I mean.





	more matters of life and death (opposites and similarities)

**Author's Note:**

> idk this au kinda puttered out in the end sorry

He doesn’t know why he’s so worried about losing Ladd, and why he does whatever he can to stay close to the other man, even though it’s terrifying, even though  _ Ladd _ is becoming terrifying. Who knows damn well that it would be easier for him if he forgot all about his childhood friend, and that, even if things seemed almost figured out when they were younger, when it was the two of them and Leila, that it isn’t worth the risk now. He and Leila would be just fine on their own.

But it must be more than just a desire to hold onto the imagined simplicity, to pretend that things are the way they used to be. He knows well enough by now that Ladd has changed, and that they will never have the old days back, but still, he doesn’t want to lose him. And so, he knows well enough by now that he loves Ladd, as he was and as he is, no matter how scary a concept that may be, and when he stops acting as distant, and starts bringing his girlfriend around, Who does his best to swallow his uncertainties and embrace this. He’s nearly lost Ladd once, so he doesn’t want to miss this last chance to hold onto him.

It must be difficult for Leila as well, but he pushes her and she goes along with it, but that’s just like her. She has always taken care of him, even more than Ladd has. So they begin to get to know Lua, and to get to know the way that Ladd is now.

~X~

Who doesn’t understand Lua very much, but in a way, he does. He would never be able to embrace death so willingly; his cowardice stems from his great desire to  _ live _ , after all. But just because he has never wanted to die, and has always been afraid of dying, does not mean that he can’t understand her.

In fact, in a way, he might be a little envious of her, and not because of Ladd’s obvious favoritism, the way Ladd seems to worship the very ground she walks on. He envies how readily she accepts the concept of death, even if he cannot fathom why she longs for it. She has Ladd’s protection and should have nothing to be afraid of either way, but the source of fear is not there to begin with.

In a way, he wishes he could be more like her, though the logical, cowardly part of him is glad that he isn’t, that he doesn’t embrace death as willingly as she does. Even so, he is envious of her, only because she is so unafraid. Is that why Ladd is so taken with her, or is it in spite of that? He knows that his own fear is part of what Ladd likes about him, so it’s hard to understand. (But, then again, when has Ladd ever been easy to understand?)

~X~

She and Leila start to get closer over time, and he’s glad for that. He doesn’t have much luck when it comes to talking to her, but they’re both quiet, too similar in that regard. Ladd and Leila are both loud and overbearing, and he and Lua are quiet and would follow the other two anywhere, without a word of complaint.

In a lot of ways he and Lua are alike, in just as many ways as they are opposites. And even when they’re opposites, there are still similarities to find, and he wonders if she clings to her ideal death in the same way he clings to his life. This isn’t something that he can come out and ask her, and there isn’t much else that he can even think of to ask her, and so they don’t talk nearly as much as they should.

He is the one who tells Leila to try, to give Lua a chance, but he is the one who struggles to form a connection with her at all. She doesn’t seem to care at all, and Ladd puts not pressure on him, also more concerned about making sure the women hit it off, but still, Who feels like he should  _ talk _ to her, even if he doesn’t know where to begin.

He gets his chance one day when Leila drags Ladd off on an errand; Lua declines the invitation, but Leila does not give Ladd a choice, and when Who senses the opportunity, he opts to stay behind as well. Ladd tells him to keep an eye on Lua before leaving, as if he’s strong enough or brave enough to do anything for her, if it comes down to it. They are so lucky to have Ladd and Leila, he thinks.

“It’s funny, isn’t it?” he asks, to break the silence. “That Ladd asked me to look after you, I mean.”

“He says things like that,” she replies, “but he isn’t worried.”

“He isn’t? I thought…”

“He trusts me,” she says, and Who nods.

“Well, yeah, but even so, there are a lot of things outside of your control that could happen, like...w-well, I’m not trying to scare you or anything!” He stops himself before he goes into detail, not wanting to worry her. Worst case scenario, she might even tell Ladd that he did that, and Ladd would be angry at him for putting Lua under any sort of stress.

“That’s true,” agrees Lua, but she doesn’t say anything else, and he gets the impression that this doesn’t shake her opinion at all. Is she really not scared of anything? And, what’s more, does Ladd really think blind faith is enough to absolve them of any fear? That seems a little arrogant, considering his typical worldview, and considering all that’s happened, but he doesn’t voice his concerns.

Maybe they just don’t overthink things the way that he does. Lua doesn’t seem stupid by any stretch of the imagination, but maybe her thought process is very simple, at least where this is concerned. Again, Who finds himself envying her, and at a loss for words, letting the conversation die. He thinks through all of the times he and Leila have talked about her, and finally, he says, “Leila said she watched you do a puzzle one time, and then you painted, or something?”

“Yes?”

“Do you maybe...want to do that while we wait for them?”

She nods, getting up, and he follows her, and he watches her for the rest of the afternoon, still unable to make conversation, but he feels better about that now. Lua is busy, after all, and they’re spending time together, either way. He isn’t sure, but he doesn’t think she minds his company, and they might even be getting closer, just a little bit.

He envies her lack of fear and her simple outlook, but more than that, he admires her. It’s unlikely that he’ll ever stop overthinking things, or that he will ever be anything like her. Who will almost definitely always be a coward, and will cling to his life while Lua bravely looks forward to death, but he makes an effort to think just a little bit less, so he can see their friendship, and only their friendship, for what it is.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're interested in my writing updates, please follow my fanfiction twitter @WattStalf  
> I'll follow back so long as you don't post anything hateful!


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